Princess of Karn iii

Princess: 'I don't bother understanding English'
Which explains a lot, phew! (finally!) #breezy
'Her Majesty' also made an appearance...
Looking more like a pimp than anything else
Just a touch better than Queen Bonershrinker...

Clowning ii (reprise)

[Dr A's office] Me: Can you direct me to Dr B's office?
Receptionist (squint/sneer): "It's in a hauuuuuuse..."
Me: Well, my lovely rocket scientist, I think you should be in a house too...
#temptation

Old hat ii

Beware local clowning (group effort)
It can set you back at least twenty years...
"Try to think clearly" ;)
#fauxCanada

Old hat (reprise)

Him: "In the Koran, women are gold"
Me: Er, have you even *read* the Koran...!?
Him: [no reply]
#myfaithwillshieldmyignorance

And where they still bait/goad/shame/humiliate homosexuals

2020

Saint Mary

My sister [ER nurse] said she saw you in the emergency room
...
I know 2 or 3 girls that had a major crush on you
...
Tried to send you a happy valentines but it came back
...
If I recall she said it was the cafeteria
[If I recall correctly she said she saw you in the cafeteria]

Meanwhile: Christmas Island

"Dress is usually modest, and tourists should keep a wrap... on hand to cover shorts, bathing suits, and tank tops."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_Island

Commandments - revised iii

Victorian Hills Commandments
(actual quotes/directives)
11 marry a rich lady
12 grow a pair
13 be heterosexual
14 stop wearing a hoodie
15 ballet is only for girls
16 "you can rub it" [defense of child marriage]
17 some people are "enemies"
18 "no need take them seriously"  [health care]
19 diversity is limited
20 'helper elves' are invariably half clothed
21 race has a dollar value
22 "try to think clearly"
23 scams are "truly Canadian"

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle

#mumblemumblemumble

Tweet for the #hauntedbyporn crowd

@TopBoi1983 @jose_RMP @rrrrai880 @tbcbr1982 @hairymusclelvr @Gabriel_AAL @ARASOSAR @ma_puto @XGlitterBearX @Kretek_Ost @querico26 @eric_n0s pic.twitter.com/hkbBquf8oA

— 𝚄𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚂𝚊𝚗 𝚁𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 (@UlisesSan295) May 3, 2017

The Princess of Karn ii

Been more than a week since I last saw the princess
I know it's wrong to remember what the princess said in the past
And I know it's wrong to forget what the princess said in the past
So how do I please the princess?
Do I gassho?
Do I kowtow?
Do I waggle my lyripipe as I leave the room?

Guerilla warfare xxvi

New owners are still at it...
#psychologicalwarfare

Gold rush fever ii

Prompt to start playing the lottery
(cuz all Canadians are rabid for lottery, right?)
Faux customer i: 'I've never played before...'
Attendant (Princess Pompom): 'Ra ra shish boom bah!'
Faux customer ii (mister scruffy): [lottery stuff]
Attendant ii (Aristotle): [mumble mumble mumble; screwed up his (strawman) lines]
#goodcopbadcop #cliche #3T #strawman

Trot out any cliche you like

And they do

"A truly Canadian business" viii

Attendants: "They stopped making them"
Manufacturers: Nope, that's a scam [complete with faux packaging]

We're 'adults'...

We send our kids to do it for us ;)
#thegolflinksliesonearthemill

Meanwhile: the princess and the cheerleader

The Princess of Karn, the Princess Pompom of Lawrence
From whiny to weird

Goof something...

1. irl faux social - fail
2. intervene on web - fail
3. leverage irl social - fail
4. backpedal into custom/limited web - fail
What they couldn't do (scores of them) is be articulate or attractive in any way #shrug

And (of course) they resort to physical violence

Some things never change ;)

Be what they hate

And they crave it, and they love it, and they want more, more, more #shrug #insatiable

From faux packaging to product tampering

We will help you - or else
#accuracy #trytothinkclearly

"A truly Canadian business" vii

Attendant: 'You're not like the other customers!' "You no come here no more...!"
Alas, 'diversity', we hardly knew ye ;)
#trytothinkclearly #diversity #multiculturalismbubble #windowdressing #backofthebus

"A truly Canadian business" vi

Attendant: "Why do you do that?"
Answer: Because that's what you do - er, remember?
#trytothinkclearly

"A truly Canadian business" v

Me: You say something to me (weeks/days earlier) and when I say the same thing to you, you get upset
Attendant [upset again]: "You no like other customers...!" "You no come here no more...!"
"Try to think clearly" ;)
NB I really, *really* hope that was just another charade #guffaw On the other hand, religious icons everywhere... #sigh

"A truly Canadian business" iv

"They stopped making them", adjusted for honesty, is now "I don't have them"...
"Try to think clearly" ;)

Where professionals (laughingly) discourage very basic/accessible practices

Er, "create a dependence" #isthatirony

"A truly Canadian business" iii

"Try to think clearly" ;)

Where human trafficking isn't just a news item

#ohdearohdear