Commandments - revised vi

Victorian Hills Commandments
(actual quotes/directives, including doctors and law enforcement)
11 marry a rich lady
12 grow a pair
13 be heterosexual - or else
14 stop wearing a hoodie
15 ballet is only for girls
16 "you can rub it" [defense of child marriage]
17 some people are "enemies"
18 "no need take them seriously" [health care]
19 'diversity' is limited/tactical
20 'helper elves' are invaribly half clothed
21 race has a dollar value
22 "try to think clearly"
23 scams are "truly Canadian"
24 be a religious person - or else
25 thou shalt reproduce - or else
26 we will have "no gearboxes around here"
27 thou shalt covet "those extra-dark nipples"
(and there's more! stick around...)

They played the homo card...

Now they want a 'fair trade': 
You stop quoting them and they'll stop assaulting you
Well we have one thing to say:
27 Thou shalt covet "those extra-dark nipples"
NB Apparently also includes our (federal) forces
Venting their homophobia...
When no one's looking, of course
Not so hot on our PM/authority figures, non?
There's some irony for you...
#buddyfucker

In 'my' religion...

;)

A note of triumphalism

From 'constable Nelson':
"You have to prove it" ;)
20200905

The #homolynch adventure continues

Like any other, but #softlysoftly
The kickoff was three punches in the face (faux 'stray hoodlums')
They thought that would be enough, and said so:
"I didn't expect to see you ('come back outside so soon')..."
Refined their methods since then, including biological/chemical assault
#lynchsoft by Victorian Hills
#softlysoftly

Hater ballet vi

Not just Creep & Jaw but toying with public health
(well beyond the July 6th enactment)
Attendants:
1 You *must* wear a face mask
2 You only have to wear a mask "if you want to"
3 Switchback: you must wear a face mask
4 Often *many* 'community' members loitering without masks and blowing hot air - er, jawing - both inside and outside*
Just another part of the ongoing campaign (see below)
Meanwhile, you can read the by-law for yourself
https://www.regionofwaterloo.ca/en/face-covering-by-law.aspx
https://www.regionofwaterloo.ca/en/resourcesGeneral/Communications/Face-covering-by-law-20-035.pdf
*think I was supposed to either mention this or 'go balistic' about it at the time #oops

Hater ballet v

Among the goals:
Not only to paint themselves as victims of 'white privilege'
But also to encourage it:
--------------------------------------------
200814
Mask charade encore
Attendant (Aristotle): "Mask!"
Me (puts on mask)...
Faux customer (comes in after me; no mask): "Heh, heh, heh"
Attendant: "Heh heh..."
Me (pointing after Faux leaves): "No mask?"
Attendant (faux complaining): 'He never wears a mask...(!)'
Me (leaving): "Aristotle to you too..."

NB religion is the crime of being 'too earnest'

;)

Newest 'hit'

Oh never mind ;)
Well, the funny part:
Front counter (store):
Suit having 'deep conversation' with bosses
I buy and leave
Go back in to adjust backpack
Suit (leaving on my heels): about face
#cantreadthatone ;)

Commandments - revised v

Victorian Hills Commandments
(actual quotes/directives, including doctors and law enforcement)
11 marry a rich lady
12 grow a pair
13 be heterosexual
14 stop wearing a hoodie
15 ballet is only for girls
16 "you can rub it" [defense of child marriage]
17 some people are "enemies"
18 "no need take them seriously" [health care]
19 diversity is limited
20 'helper elves' are invaribly half clothed
21 race has a dollar value
22 "try to think clearly"
23 scams are "truly Canadian"
24 be a religious person - or else
25 thou shalt reproduce - or else

Use a female

A hundred years later and still their best advice to homosexuals:
Use a female as a human shield, ie. as a tool
Not exactly in line with women's rights? ;)

Hater ballet iv

After all that, after *strategically* sending out their kids to play (frisbee, soccer...), just so they could then say 'I don't want him near my kids'(!)...
This is definitive Hater Ballet?
And likewise we agree that anyone using their "granddaughter" as a human shield is kinda pathetic #shrug

Commandments - revised iv

Victorian Hills Commandments
(actual quotes/directives, including doctors and law enforcement)
11 marry a rich lady
12 grow a pair
13 be heterosexual
14 stop wearing a hoodie
15 ballet is only for girls
16 "you can rub it" [defence of child marriage]
17 some people are "enemies"
18 "no need take them seriously" [health care]
19 diversity is limited
20 'helper elves' are invariably half clothed
21 race has a dollar value
22 "try to think clearly"
23 scams are "truly Canadian"
24 be a religious person - or else

Hater ballet iii

Covert conversion therapy still chugging (both online and offline); latest maneuver (corner store) is to block the exit... and #callmeslow imagine one of the attendants leaning across the counter in an 'alluring' way...

The Clown Brigade Strikes Back

As an incongruous 'leadership' mishmash (youth, adults, professionals), the clown brigade has coined a doozy:
Beyond outrageous, beyond the pale (we agree), 'hell' now includes people with physical disabilities

Double guerrilla

Attendant: 'We send you the same [quality] pizza as we send everyone else'...
Er, who said otherwise? Where did that come from? ;)

Hater ballet - encore

For their stamina and virtuoso performances (international) 2017 - present
Diva C&J (ensemble)
Diva Szkokan (pas de deux)
We apologize for the glaring omission

Hater ballet

Hater x (balcony)
Hater y (laneway, with kids)
Me (sidewalk, at x, traveling x to y)
Hater x (usual subtle antagonism): cough cough
Me (sidewalk, at y): usual squeaky toy reply
Hater y (filming): silent
#haterballet
NB additionally, Victorian Hills has no fewer than eight hater ballet sudios, two of them medical, and several national (via phone)
Noteable international hater ballet stars:
Diva Bain
Diva Murray
Diva Victoria

PSA: House flies from the reeking dumpster...

Thronging on the front counter
Yes, 'that other wing', I suppose...
If that wasn't enough:
That same local 'bakery' is now exporting fruit flies...

Encore: 2020 Anti-work Award

Victorian Hills is a nominee for this year's Grinning Zone Anti-work Award
The Award signifies twenty years of commitment to the anti-work ideal
Some of the criteria are a bit harsh ("incompetence"); we'll go with "lack of imagination"
From the press release:
"Even in the toughest times our anti-work heroes renew their dedication to identifying and extinguishing 'infernal' abilities wherever they find them"

After goading his customer, Happy Junior scores a *ten point Bozo*...

Extra points, really:
Flipped out when the customer did the same to him: "stay out"(!)
#vhclowning #CJclownbrigade #classicbozo #vhclowningsaga
NB to be fair, he's being prompted
And just keeps fucking it up lol
His 'handlers' could do the humane thing (do it themselves), but cowardice reigns: Victorian Hills
Er, should I mention that he's 'black' and they're white? Would that be terribly awkward?
Reposted from 200602

2020 anti-work award

Victorian Hills is a nominee for this year's Grinning Zone Anti-work Award
The Award signifies twenty years of commitment to the anti-work ideal
Some of the criteria are a bit harsh ("incompetence"); we'll go with "lack of imagination"
From the press release:
"Even in the toughest times our anti-work heroes renew their dedication to identifying and extinguishing 'infernal' abilities wherever they find them"

Call me slow: the mysterious disappearance of the book-sharing box (last year)

You know the one: next to the sidewalk; looks like a bird house on a post
Text: 'take a book or leave one'
Now and then I stopped to survey the contents
Not unseen, apparently
And I admit I may have 'grinned out loud' once or twice...
Suddenly, only the post was there...
NB in VH usually grinning is reserved for physical harm to another; I'm out of step?

Where we have 'talent to burn'(!)

Uh, evidently
#shrug

PSA: no mask?

And can't avoid a close encounter?
Hold your breath (unless you have a condition that would make it dangerous)
Very handy when encoutering 'that person' (yes, that one) who thinks they're the only one who uses that sidewalk/door/aisle/etc

Slum lords ii

They didn't get their way (numerous biological/chemical assaults), so they're back to spitting on the sidewalk...
Must be infuriating when people can't be intimidated...?
I'm sure they'll do better next time... #unlimitedattempts

The Victorian Hills ghetto revival

Complete with slum lords...
Is it "truly Canadian?"

Where everyone develops on schedule, and everyone declines on schedule

The local standard, evidently #shrug

Remembering Susan D, who at the time was a/the "god" of modern dance

Who in one 'private' lesson (just happened that way), lasting less than a minute, showed me a helluva lot about dance (and about a lot of things) #goddess
NB no, it wasn't sexual #sheesh #thosefilthyartistypes

Where social overhead is the major cause of x, y and z

#ontologicalimpedance

Where covert conversion therapy is a well oiled machine

Resigned lesbian: "I'm a rebel"
#VictorianHills

Call me slow: Victorian Hills Penis Police

Agent Chase: "It's got a head and everything?"
Agent Daphne: [sexual assault]
Agent anonymous [hand under the stall]: "Let me see it!"
Agent Mahari: "I'll rip off your dick and stick it up your nose!"
Agent White: [sexual assault]
Agent Kimberly: "It's not that big. I can tell..."
Agent Walker: "Let me see it"
Agent Smith: "Pound of flesh"
Agent Chand: [sexual assault]

Victorian Hills...

It's like Scientology and The Time Machine had kids

White pawn: "thank you"

#scriptedmuch?

Where assault is a methodology

#shrug

https://satyrblues.blogspot.com/2020/02/story-all-of-them-still-chugging.html

https://satyrblues.blogspot.com/2020/02/story-all-of-them-still-chugging.html

Babysitting caseload

Aristotle (mumble mumble mumble)
Bozo and Happy Junior
Connor (thumb on the scale)
Frankie and Bingo (hallelujah!)
Lord of the Flies (that other wing)
Princess Pompom
Queen Bonershrinker
The Victorian Hills Bingo Horde
The White Queen (glaring emasculation fantasies)

#notallowed

Which includes prettymuch everything, these days
#ohwell

White pawn: pricing scam xx

#whitepawn

Black pawn: pricing scam xix

#blackpawn

Where they're *still* trying to change the subject

Fifty years later
#diversityverylimited #fauxCanada

White pawn: [bingo maneuver]

#whitepawn

Black pawn: "Try to think clearly"

#blackpawn

Black pawn: "Get out here, you..."

#blackpawn

Black pawn: Simba's 'dad'

#blackpawn

As expected: dinged for using their own form of address

"Try to think clearly" ;)
#basics

Refrain: We're 'adults'; we send our kids to do it for us

One more time. All together, now...
#thegolflinksliesonearthemill

Happy the Clown (Curly the Clown?)

Didn't look very happy at all
Looked very much like an asshole, in fact
Happy is from the local 'incest is best' crowd
Cuz, you know: thinking hurts...
So keep it in the family
#thinkinghurts #trytothinkclearly #happy #curly #hallelujah

The Victorian Hills religion-based ideal (yes, they're still at it)

The traditional method, now laundered via local (and Canadian) authorities:
Prey on the credulity of 'migrants'
In this case, the 'recruits' were a 'Turkish Cypriot' family
(no way of knowing if place of origin is correct)
A 'Jamaican' family, including 'adult' kids
A 'Kurdish' family, including two pre-teens and several adult relatives
An 'Iranian' family
Pre-teens (families) from 'Eritrea', 'China', etc.
A 'Romanian' family, including at least one teen
A 'Colombian' family, including one pre-teen...
NB this will likely change when I check my notes; working from memory
Refrain: We're 'adults'; we send our kids to do it for us #thegolflinksliesonearthemill

Princess of Karn iii

Princess: 'I don't bother understanding English'
Which explains a lot, phew! (finally!) #breezy
'Her Majesty' also made an appearance...
Looking more like a pimp than anything else
Just a touch better than Queen Bonershrinker...

Clowning ii (reprise)

[Dr A's office] Me: Can you direct me to Dr B's office?
Receptionist (squint/sneer): "It's in a hauuuuuuse..."
Me: Well, my lovely rocket scientist, I think you should be in a house too...
#temptation

Old hat ii

Beware local clowning (group effort)
It can set you back at least twenty years...
"Try to think clearly" ;)
#fauxCanada

Old hat (reprise)

Him: "In the Koran, women are gold"
Me: Er, have you even *read* the Koran...!?
Him: [no reply]
#myfaithwillshieldmyignorance

And where they still bait/goad/shame/humiliate homosexuals

2020

Saint Mary

My sister [ER nurse] said she saw you in the emergency room
...
I know 2 or 3 girls that had a major crush on you
...
Tried to send you a happy valentines but it came back
...
If I recall she said it was the cafeteria
[If I recall correctly she said she saw you in the cafeteria]

Meanwhile: Christmas Island

"Dress is usually modest, and tourists should keep a wrap... on hand to cover shorts, bathing suits, and tank tops."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_Island

Commandments - revised iii

Victorian Hills Commandments
(actual quotes/directives)
11 marry a rich lady
12 grow a pair
13 be heterosexual
14 stop wearing a hoodie
15 ballet is only for girls
16 "you can rub it" [defense of child marriage]
17 some people are "enemies"
18 "no need take them seriously"  [health care]
19 diversity is limited
20 'helper elves' are invariably half clothed
21 race has a dollar value
22 "try to think clearly"
23 scams are "truly Canadian"

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle

#mumblemumblemumble

Tweet for the #hauntedbyporn crowd

@TopBoi1983 @jose_RMP @rrrrai880 @tbcbr1982 @hairymusclelvr @Gabriel_AAL @ARASOSAR @ma_puto @XGlitterBearX @Kretek_Ost @querico26 @eric_n0s pic.twitter.com/hkbBquf8oA

— 𝚄𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚂𝚊𝚗 𝚁𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 (@UlisesSan295) May 3, 2017

The Princess of Karn ii

Been more than a week since I last saw the princess
I know it's wrong to remember what the princess said in the past
And I know it's wrong to forget what the princess said in the past
So how do I please the princess?
Do I gassho?
Do I kowtow?
Do I waggle my lyripipe as I leave the room?

Guerilla warfare xxvi

New owners are still at it...
#psychologicalwarfare

Gold rush fever ii

Prompt to start playing the lottery
(cuz all Canadians are rabid for lottery, right?)
Faux customer i: 'I've never played before...'
Attendant (Princess Pompom): 'Ra ra shish boom bah!'
Faux customer ii (mister scruffy): [lottery stuff]
Attendant ii (Aristotle): [mumble mumble mumble; screwed up his (strawman) lines]
#goodcopbadcop #cliche #3T #strawman

Trot out any cliche you like

And they do

"A truly Canadian business" viii

Attendants: "They stopped making them"
Manufacturers: Nope, that's a scam [complete with faux packaging]

We're 'adults'...

We send our kids to do it for us ;)
#thegolflinksliesonearthemill

Meanwhile: the princess and the cheerleader

The Princess of Karn, the Princess Pompom of Lawrence
From whiny to weird

Goof something...

1. irl faux social - fail
2. intervene on web - fail
3. leverage irl social - fail
4. backpedal into custom/limited web - fail
What they couldn't do (scores of them) is be articulate or attractive in any way #shrug

And (of course) they resort to physical violence

Some things never change ;)

Be what they hate

And they crave it, and they love it, and they want more, more, more #shrug #insatiable

From faux packaging to product tampering

We will help you - or else
#accuracy #trytothinkclearly

"A truly Canadian business" vii

Attendant: 'You're not like the other customers!' "You no come here no more...!"
Alas, 'diversity', we hardly knew ye ;)
#trytothinkclearly #diversity #multiculturalismbubble #windowdressing #backofthebus

"A truly Canadian business" vi

Attendant: "Why do you do that?"
Answer: Because that's what you do - er, remember?
#trytothinkclearly

"A truly Canadian business" v

Me: You say something to me (weeks/days earlier) and when I say the same thing to you, you get upset
Attendant [upset again]: "You no like other customers...!" "You no come here no more...!"
"Try to think clearly" ;)
NB I really, *really* hope that was just another charade #guffaw On the other hand, religious icons everywhere... #sigh

"A truly Canadian business" iv

"They stopped making them", adjusted for honesty, is now "I don't have them"...
"Try to think clearly" ;)

Where professionals (laughingly) discourage very basic/accessible practices

Er, "create a dependence" #isthatirony

"A truly Canadian business" iii

"Try to think clearly" ;)

Where human trafficking isn't just a news item

#ohdearohdear